


I Want What I Want, Do You Think That I Want Too Much?

by bittlebunny (american_homos_story)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 14:24:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7175558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/american_homos_story/pseuds/bittlebunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Holster tried to drop hints, and 1 time Ransom got a clue (with a little help)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want What I Want, Do You Think That I Want Too Much?

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the second place winner of my fic giveaway ([@queerladydi](http://queerladydi.tumblr.com) on tumblr)! I hope you enjoy it, I haven't written a lot of R+H so I'm not sure how accurate my characterization is, but hopefully nothing is too far off!  
> Title is taken from Gimme Love by Carly Rae Jepsen (I thought it was appropriate considering the first paragraph)

He can feel their hands almost touching. If he just stretched just a little further, moved his fingers a certain way… He’d be holding hands with Ransom. Which, if he’s honest, would not be some kind of novel occasion. It’s happened plenty times before. Except… Well, Holster had a lot of time to think over the summer. He thought about hockey, some. He got pretty engrossed in the annual season of Big Brother, and the release of the new Carly Rae Jepsen album changed his life for sure.

Mostly, he thought about Ransom.

When they weren’t texting, or calling, or FaceTiming, Ransom was pretty much all Holster thought about. At first it was pretty normal stuff. _I miss Justin. I bet he’s doing fun stuff with his family right now. Holy shit if he were here he would definitely think…_ And so on. Nothing that alarmed him at all.

The longer they were apart, though, the emptier Holster seemed to feel. He definitely realized after just a few weeks that Justin had carved a hole for himself somewhere in Holster’s heart, and not having him to fill it was not an easy thing to get through.

He started focusing on the little moments they shared. Holding hands—but only as a joke, of course. It was a bro culture thing, or something like that. Shitty would know. Sharing ice cream. Occasionally sleeping in the same bed. There was never a _no homo_ actually muttered, but that seemed to be the understanding. But then, Holster started to think— _what if I want it to be_ yes _homo?_

It wouldn’t be the first time he’s been attracted to a guy, by any means. It’s just... They’re already so close. He doesn’t want to jeopardize that just because of some little crush that he’ll most likely get over before Ransom can even tell. Still, while Ransom seems fine as usual, it’s much harder for Holster to be around him now that he’s come to terms with these feelings. He feels self conscious, off-balance.

Holster clears his throat. “So, how was your summer?”

Ransom chuckles, lying back in the grass. His arms go behind his head to cushion it on the uneven ground. He’s more muscular than ever; Holster notices. He’s almost disappointed at the withdrawal of Ransom’s hand from that position so close to his own.

“Bro, you know how my summer was. We talked basically every day.”

He forces a chuckle. “Haha, that’s true. Um. You...you look good...dude.”

“Thanks man, so do you! Glad we both stayed active. Gotta keep the bod tight for the ladies, am I right?” Ransom says, winking at Holster from his position on the ground. That, or he’s blinking the blinding sun out of his beautiful eyes. Holster was trying to compliment him; he isn’t sure why he feels a knot in his stomach when Ransom immediately steers the conversation towards hooking up with girls.

“Oh, yeah, for sure. It would be devastating if we let ourselves go and had to rely just on personality or something,” Holster replies sarcastically. Is he actually feeling jealous of Ransom’s hypothetical hookups right now?

Ransom chuckles again. “Are you alright, brah? You seem a little...off?”

“Oh, you know,” Holster shrugs, “sometimes it just takes me a couple days to adjust to being back after so long.” _And I have a big crush on you but, like, whatever, right?_

Ransom nods. “Yeah, I got you. Hey, you wanna head inside? I heard singing coming from the kitchen earlier, which means there’s def gotta be some pie by now.”

“Sure thing, Rans. This grass kinda makes me itchy anyway.”

 

* * *

Stepping off the ice after winning a game is always exhilarating. The crowd is still screaming, your teammates are jumping around and tackling each other in celebration, your best friend just kissed you… Or, as much as you can kiss somebody through hockey gear. It was more like slamming helmets together with puckered lips. It wasn’t anything new for the D-men, but now there was something about it that felt like a check to the damn heart.

The locker room chatter is almost deafening; it’s the first big win of the season. Bitty is already standing on a bench and singing. The frogs are standing in a circle, shooting congrats at each other and bringing up their best moments of the game. The tadpoles look a little awkward, just trying to get out of their gear and out of the locker room before they’re engulfed in the post-game celebration.

For a second, Holster forgets about everything. Pride is swelling in his chest, this was his team, his friends, his _family._ First game of the season and they’re already crushing it. He knows that he’s a good captain, but if it weren’t for Ransom...—

And there it is again. Just like that, his chest is tight again. He swallows down a lump in his throat, patting players on the back as he passes them, laughing as people jostle him in their excitement. It’s an act, though. Honestly, he could’ve gone into acting. His outward appearance is completely positive, he’s practically radiating cheer, but every time he looks at Ransom it’s like someone’s taken a crowbar and pushed it a little further between his ribs. He doesn’t know how much more he can take before his heart is on the floor, trampled.

“Bro, did you see the look on number 40’s face when the puck slid right between his fucking legs? Priceless,” Ransom is saying, clapping him on the back.

Holster snaps out of his daze, chuckling and nodding.

“Holtz, are you good? You seem a little foggy or something?”

“What? No, I’m cool! I just, uh…” he starts to strip off his gear, not looking directly at Ransom. “Just thinking about the game, is all!”

Ransom raises an eyebrow but says nothing, also starting to tear off his equipment.

“Hey, Rans? You looked good out there.”

Ransom laughs. “Hell yeah we did! Best pair of D-men Samwell’s ever seen!”

Holster snorts as Dex and Nursey stop their conversation and briefly glare in their direction, but it doesn’t distract him from the way Ransom’s response buzzes in his ears. Why couldn’t he just take the damn compliment?

“For sure, dude. Kegster this weekend to celebrate?” Holster says quickly, wanting to change the subject.

“Now you’re talkin’!”

 

* * *

_[12:07 PM] hey, do u think we have enough shit for tmmrw?_

**[12:08 PM] totally. wait, unless you invited more people or some shit**

_[12:08 PM] …._

**[12:08 PM] RANS?!?!? only so many people can fit in the damn Haus**

_[12:09 PM] i’m sorry my dude!! a couple girls who run track heard about the win and they like...invited themselves...and then invited like 30 more people_

**[12:09 PM] 30 more fucking people?**

_[12:10 PM] oh come on, we’ve dealt with worse. there must have been like 200 people crammed in there during Epi last year…_

**[12:10 PM] -_- ok true but that doesn’t mean i’m ok with this**

_[12:11 PM] just think of the girls bro!!! they run track they’ve all got nice legs and shit ;) c’mon it’ll be fun_

**[12:12 PM] can you hear me sighing justin oluransi?? all the way from across campus??**

_[12:12 PM] nah but i’ve heard you sigh enough to conjure the sound in my head :)_

**[12:13 PM] DONT SMILEY ME WHEN IM MAD AT U**

_[12:16 PM] wait ur not really mad, r u?_

**[12:17 PM] …**

**[12:17 PM] nah**

**[12:18 PM] i’m just messin with u lol get fuckin memed on**

_[12:18 PM] ok thank god i got scared for a sec?? no offense but like you seem tense lately bro idk but i’m lowkey worried bout u_

**[12:18 PM] yeah...maybe i just like need a massage or something ;-)**

_[12:20 PM] totally tho!!! i know this kid who rows and he has amazing arms. his dad’s a chiropractor so he knows some real shit too, i could hook you up?_

**[12:20 PM] um….sure, i guess**

_[12:21 PM] cool. I know ur schedule for the most part so ill just pass it on to him_

**[12:21 PM] thanks bro**

**[12:23 PM] love you**

_[12:24 PM] no prob my dude, i’ll see you in a bit, yeah?_

**[12:24 PM] yeah, see you in a bit**

He locks his phone, sighing. He had sort of made an attempt, right? Maybe that was good enough. Ransom didn’t think about him that way. They were just bros. Or something.

I mean, that massage comment was pretty obvious, right? Holster isn’t crazy to think that that should’ve done _something_ aside from getting him a literal massage from a random member of crew. He really can’t read Ransom. Is he really that oblivious that he isn’t correctly interpreting any of Holster’s flirting? Or is it just that their relationship has evolved into such a close and unique one that the “flirting” doesn’t phase him?

He knows he should just leave things as they are. He’s happy! Occasionally. Like, when he doesn’t think about Ransom. But what if he makes it worse for himself? The last thing he wants is to lose his best friend…

 

* * *

“Dude, what if we ‘accidentally’ spilled alcohol on this couch tonight and then somehow it caught on fire and we had to get a new one?”

Ransom’s eyes dart to him from his laptop. Holster only barely notices it in his peripheral vision; he’s scrolling on his phone, just thinking out loud.

“It’s not even that bad. That thing about the beetle eggs was never proven!”

Holster snorts. “It was never _dis_ proven, either.”

Ransom chuckles. “Fine. But until I feel a beetle climb up my ass…”

“Have you had a lot of experience with things in your ass?” The words come out of his mouth before he even realizes. His eyes widen, thumb frozen, hovering above his phone screen. He’s sure the blush in his cheeks must be visible from down the block. Even in the dark.

He gasps and jumps when a pillow hits his face, knocking his glasses askew. Ransom is laughing.

“Don’t be fucking weird, dude, I’m trying to do homework.”

Shit. Maybe he was safe, but he really shouldn’t have said that. “Hey, I think I’m gonna get something to drink. You thirsty?”

Ransom hums, a pen resting between his lips. Holster’s never realized how nice Justin’s lips are… Okay, that’s a damn lie. He’s noticed them countless times. But the way the pen rests between them, pressed between the soft flesh…

“Holtz?”

He blinks, shaking his head slowly. “Sorry?”

Ransom frowns, an eyebrow quirked. “I said a Coke…”

“Oh, right! I’ll be right back!” Holster says, maybe a little too quickly. He trips on the leg of the couch as he stands up, cursing under his breath and rushing into the kitchen.

Bitty is at the counter, mixing something by hand. His headphones are in, but he still turns when Holster comes in.

“Hiya!” he says cheerfully, removing one of them to be more polite. “Can I help with anything?”

“Nope, nothing, everything’s perfectly fine! I just need a soda for Ransom. And...also...myself,” he says, slowly taking out a second Coke. He doesn’t want to raise any kind of suspicion. He’s not really good at subtlety, unfortunately.

“Holster, what the hell is going on?”

Holster almost drops one of the cans as he closes the fridge, trying to escape from a potentially awkward conversation. “Uh, soda?” he responds awkwardly.

Bitty sighs, taking the other earbuds out. “No. You seem weird lately. Are you okay?”

“Fucking hell, would everybody stop asking me that? It’s just been a weird couple of days, alright? Damn…”

Bitty looks up at him, obviously hurt. “I was...I’m sorry, I was just worried. Take your damn soda and go. I’ll talk later,” he says, putting his headphones back in.

Holster opens his mouth to say something but Bitty looks him dead in the eyes and turns the volume all the way up, so loud that Holster can hear it. He sighs and cries out in frustration, trying not to let his shaking hands shake up the soda.

He rushes into the other room, slamming the soda down next to Ransom’s laptop on the table. He then huffs and turns on his heel, exiting the room.

“Um, Adam? What the fuck?”

He calls back, “I’m just gonna go to bed, it’s late anyway.” He really hopes Ransom can’t hear that he’s crying.

 

* * *

Holster would like to tell himself that he’s wearing super tight shorts because he’s hoping to get laid tonight. He’s trying to attract attention, and what better way to do it then by showing off his body? He isn’t quite on Bitty’s level—he’s wearing a crop top and...Holster isn’t exactly sure if those could be considered shorts. He’s also not sure how Bitty could possibly be wearing underwear that fits under them. Either way, Holster’s trying not to be attracted to him too much. He’s been hearing rumors about a secret boyfriend.

Plus, the real reason he wore the shorts was to get Ransom’s attention.

Not that he’d admit it, and not that it’s working anyway. Sure enough, Ransom is talking to one of the girls from the track team. He’s standing a little close, being a little handsy. She seems to like it, though. Holster does not.

They’d made eye contact earlier. Ransom had just frowned and looked away. They hadn’t spoken much since Holster’s little temper tantrum the previous day, even throughout all of the party prep. Holster isn’t even really in a partying mood right now.

Ransom says something to the girl. She laughs and turns around, waving to him. He smiles and laughs to himself, then makes a beeline for Holster. As he approaches, Holster straightens up a bit.

“Hey,” they say simultaneously.

“Can I go first?”

“Can I just…” Ransom sighs. “Yeah, go ahead.”

Holster nods. “I’m sorry, dude. It’s been a weird week and you’re right to say I’ve been acting off. I’ll be fine though, I’m just figuring some shit out.”

“Like what? You tell me legit everything, why are you holding this back?”

He shrugs. “It’s not a big deal.”

Ransom goes to protest but Holster adds, _“I promise.”_

He closes his mouth. “Okay, bro. I’m sorry for pushing. Whatever it is, I hope everything turns out okay.”

It’s strange, having a conversation like this with his best friend. They’ve never had to be vague like this before.

“Thanks, Rans. I appreciate you understanding.”

Ransom nods, patting him on the back. “Dude, did you see that girl? Her name’s Katie. I think she might be into me?”

Holster tries not to huff when he responds, “Yeah, who wouldn’t be?” but he doesn’t do a very good job. Ransom looks at him, a little amused.

“Hold up. I think I get it now.”

Holster freezes. Is it possible that Justin was finally getting the hint?

“Every time I talk about girls, you get all...jealous! That’s it, isn’t it? You’re afraid I’m gonna start spending time with some chick and not have enough time for my bro?”

Holster exhales, forcing a laugh. “Um. Yeah, I guess?” It’s not _really_ a lie.

“Dude, don’t be ridiculous. I’ll always have time for you!” Ransom slaps his ass and gives him a wink before fading back into the throng of bodies. Holster has to excuse himself to the kitchen.

 

He finds Bitty in the kitchen (as usual), sitting on a counter and talking to Lardo. He has a cup in his hand and if Holster was four beers drunker, he might seriously consider trying to get with him. He sighs, shaking that thought out of his head. _Ransom, this is about Justin,_ he thinks.

“Hey, Bits? Could I talk to you for a sec?”

He looks up from his conversation, swallowing a sip of liquid. “Sure, what’s goin’ on?”

Holster looks at Lardo, who smiles a little awkwardly and gets the hint. She taps Bits on the knee and gestures that she’ll be right back. He nods.

“It’s, uh, about yesterday. First of all, I’m sorry for going off on you like that. It wasn’t cool.”

Eric smiles. “That’s okay, Holtzy. We all have our bad days! What was so bad about it, by the way?”

“I like Ransom.”

There’s a pause. Eric laughs. “Well, I mean, of _course_ you do, y’all are like two peas—”

“No, Bits, I _like_ Ransom. Like, you know… But do you see the problem? We’re so close, any move I make he just takes as another joke.”

He stops. “Oh. Well that would complicate things. I do see what you mean...”

“What do I do?” he asks desperately.

Bitty thinks for a second, chewing at the rim of his plastic cup. Then, he sets it down on the counter and hops off.

“Go out where he can see you. Face slightly away. I’ll do the rest.”

 

* * *

Ransom taps him on the shoulder. Holster looks past him toward Bitty, who’s frowning and shrugging. Maybe not the best sign.

“Holster your...your ass looks really good in those shorts.”

Wait. Fuck. Did it work? He needs to somehow test him to make sure he’s not just being Ransom.

“Oh, yeah, you know, gotta attract the ladies somehow!”

Ransom shakes his head and licks his lips. He steps in closer, a hand suddenly on Holster’s lower back. “No, I mean... _I_ think your ass looks really good in those shorts.”

Holster so badly wants to smirk, but instead he giggles. “I wore them just for you.”

“Fuck, I’m such an idiot for not getting it...I’m really sorry Adam.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t be. Just...kiss me?”

Ransom rolls his eyes but there’s nothing genuine about his annoyance. He leans in, pressing his lips against Holster’s. Holster smirks when he feels Ransom’s hand travel down just slightly further, coming to rest right on his ass. He opens his eyes and sees Bitty over Ransom’s shoulder, jumping up and down and clapping.

Ransom goes to turn his head to see what Holster is looking at but he can’t; there are another pair of lips locking his in place. The kiss is _almost_ like that one time they got really drunk and made out. Nothing like the numerous kisses they had been forced to share playing spin the bottle. This kiss is different, it's real. It’s like the tide finally coming in.

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly unbeta'd for now!! It's very late and this has taken me too long to write so I want it up ASAP! I'll come back in and do some minor edits when I have more energy :D  
> Also I really love comments they are my lifeblood so!!!


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